What the scale said in March

This is a depressing update because the scale said I was still overweight, basically. It did. not. move. For a whole month. One of our longest months at that. It wasn’t like it was February, which is so short no one can, realistically, get anything done.

The scale says:

Down – 28.4

To Go – 18.6

The humiliation is good, guys, really … it’s good. I mean, I need a tablespoon or twenty of humility. (See how I equate everything to food?) A week goes by and you eat a tub of Trader Joe’s Dark Chocolate Almond Bark Thins and a few Apple Fritters, and you think, Monday is the day. The day I search Amazon for more Trader Joe’s chocolate. I blame the Mayans and Aztecs, actually.  

But, April – sweet, spring-has-sprung April – that’s where it’s at. “A” is for “April” and “A game”.  

The plan. The progress.*
Whole30 – Completed February 5 (100%). Considering another round (post-Easter, of course). Any takers?

Kayla Itsines 12-week Bikini Body – On Week 9 (75%). This guide is badass. More to come.

Join a Gym – Officially members and regularly attending Spinning and attempting TurboKick tomorrow. Aw, snap Billy Blanks, what! (80%)

Clean Eating – Why do I even keep this on the list? Note to self: Meal prep is magical. Get back to what works. (-2.1%)

Half Marathon – I am registered. I have also selected a training program to get me to a place where I can do my real training program come July. This was a realization best served by someone else. In my case, a coworker who moonlights as a marathoner, but more to come on that later. (1%)

Calorie Tracking – It sucks. Keeping a food journal is like the ultimate sensory cock block. The smells aren’t as sweet. The bites aren’t as beautiful. It’s all one big finger in your face, disgracing your dairy and desserts. But I’ll be damned if it doesn’t work. (Unless you’re Whole30-ing.)

Hiking – Got my boots and JoJo chose a hiking trip to mark her 6^th birthday in May. We’re going places. (3%)

Yoga – Every Sunday (10%)

Slim & Sassy essential oil – I sip on this stuff at least twice a week. I don’t know how I’ll know when I know it’s doing something. (5%)

*These percentages are based on complete bullshit because I don’t know how to do math or quantify something like “Clean Eating”.